I’m trying to split up the bill from my last trip to Target between Karen and myself, and it is rather difficult because I’m having trouble decoding the cryptic labels on the receipt.

300PC ALUMIN = The poker chips+cards that I bought for the semi-weekly poker nights my law school friends have. They are in an aluminum carrying case.

GAIAM TANMAT = The yoga mat that Karen bought. (It’s tan.)

RISK BOOK = A Risk game in a box with a book-like form factor.

AUTO OPEN = An umbrella which has a button that automatically opens the umbrella and automatically collapses it if you press it again (sadly you still need to manually retract the umbrella after collapsing it, but it’s still cool). You’d think they could say “umbrella” on the receipt, though.

So I’ve figured some of the items out. But what about:
ENERGIZER
ENERGIZER
ENERGIZER

I’m guessing we bought 3 packs of batteries, but couldn’t they be a little more descriptive? Like, what kind of batteries were they?

Or, for the grand prize of un-descriptiveness:

MERCHANDISE

Yes, merchandise. I bought merchandise at Target, big surprise. BUT WHAT KIND OF MERCHANDISE WAS IT???

The mystery remains.